Why do we crave touch so much? Why do we seek to hold hands, to be caressed, to be hugged, and cuddled by someone we care about? Why do we give a hug to a stranger we've just met, while others get a hand shake or even a nod of the head? The news is full of accusations regarding unwanted touch, some 20 years later, someone is now being told it was unwanted touch. Why do we think touch is "sexual" with some and yet the same touch is acceptable from others, and how can one know for sure if their touch is offensive or not? Is the solution to not ever touch again?
Touch is such a valuable part of being a human being. It's one of the senses God gave us and it has a purpose beyond sexual.
This drawing speaks volumes about the love between the two. But, what if this photo was not of a mother and her child? What if it was the love of an older sister, or an aunt, or a stranger being shared with the infant in her arms? Does it diminish the value of the touch because the relationship is different?
Advise to Parents (and Grandparents)
One of the things that can greatly impact change with a child's behavior is touch. Many times parents are over critical and under affectionate. They enforce rules, but forget to acknowledge compliance. How often does the child get told, "Do as I say and not as I do"? How many times during the day do you point out the errors and miss the good they are doing? What are you teaching your children about love? Is your love conditional upon their performance of tasks (clean the kitchen and then I'll love you. Pick up your room, your toys, your dirty dishes, and then I'll love you. Get good grades and I'll love you)?
Why does the bible say love is the greatest attitude;
"And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love."
1 Corinthians 13:13
Whatever you are looking for (error or good) will be the things you focus on and you will SEE them more. By looking for the wrong, you miss the right. This principle of "What you look for you will find," can also apply to your partner, your employee, or your family.
"Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins."
1 Peter 4:8
So, love your children in spite of their errors, after all they are children LEARNING how to be adults, not adults in children's bodies. Give them a chance to learn, to grow, and learn to love by YOUR actions and deeds. Hold their hand, look into their eyes, and tell them you love them; then touch their cheek, and kiss their nose. They will not only HEAR your love, but they will FEEL it too. They will know what it is to be touched by an angel and loved unconditionally.