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Make a Decision!

Every decision made has a consequence, maybe more than one. The consequences of a good decision, a good law, a good home, good career, or a good life results in positive consequences of peace, joy, safety, and an amazing legacy. Conversely, the consequences of a poor decision can lead to pain, heartache, and regret.

But what about the consequences that fall on us because of the decisions of others? When you end up divorced because your spouse had an affair, or when a coworker steals and you're out of a job because your company is forced to close. The consequences for decisions made by parents often fall onto their children and can have long term negative effects. Often, those children grow up and unknowingly continue to hurt their children, and so on, and so on for years and generations to come.

MOM the TV show about a family of recovering addicts and alcoholics - has subject matter that is always compelling and paradigm shifting. I love the raw honesty when it comes to the relationships, the pain, and the past that brings them to their present lives. The ever constant is that they have left their past in the past and are making better choices every day. After all the show must go on...and it can only go "on" if they make up and learn to "let go" at the end of the previous show.

Real life is full of ups and downs. We make mistakes and others offend us as well. We must learn to let go and let God heal the pains of the past. I tell my clients that "Accidental hurts feel the same as intentional hurts. That's why we must ask for forgiveness and forgive others who do us wrong." It is difficult to tell the difference between a hurt (hurt feelings, accidental stepping on your emotional toes), or harm (the deep seated pain cause by abuse, neglect, or intentional wounding). The trick is to ask what was the intention of the offender and not assume whatever was the offense was intentionally done to you. If you assume and react with the intent to get revenge, you might be causing harm to someone who never intended to hurt you. This happens all the time and it is WRONG. Find out FIRST what their intent was and seek to make amends before more damage is done. Tell the person they offended you and give them an opportunity to explain their actions or words. You may learn it was an accident and find your relationship improved by their apology and desire to correct what was wrong.

On the other hand, if they intended to hurt you and they blame you or are unrepentant (continue to hurt you), they have told you of their harmful intent. Don't get even, just leave. A foolish person who has intention to hurt or harm you (and told you so) is not someone you want to be in relationship with. The decision is yours to make.

"For fools speak folly, their hearts are bent on evil..." Isaiah 32:6a

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