When I was 21 years old and new to law enforcement, I realized I had a lot to learn. One of the "life or death" skills I had to learn was called "The Power Of Observation." We had to learn how to see beyond the obvious, beyond the words, and beyond what our eyes saw. We had to be 100% present in the moment and develop a keen sense of the environment and people in that environment and then rapidly identify who was friend and who was foe. There were shooting exercises where we had to instantly determine if we were going to "pull the trigger" or restrain because the person wasn't holding a gun but a cell phone.
I remember during one exercise shooting a bar tender who I "felt" was a threat to my partner who had his back to the bar. When asked why I shot, I explained my "feeling" that there was a gun out of my view. I was told my intuition was correct as they showed me the shotgun that was behind the countertop.Over and over again, I was commended for my intuition and later was recommended to become a trainer of other deputies in order to help them develop their sense of intuition. Today, I use this skill to help my clients and teach new therapists I supervise.
"Now faith is the assurance of what we hope for
and the certainty of what we do not see."
Hebrews 11:1
There is a saying, "When the student is ready, the teacher will appear." Learning how to develop intuition is a skill one can learn. Recently, when talking with a client about how to develop a skill to know who is a safe person and who is not, I suggested she go to the mall and "people watch." I suggested she look closely for signs that a person is safe: look at their walk, their head angle, their body language, their speech inflection, and lastly their words. Watch how couple's move in relationship to each other.
The Gottman Institute (https://www.gottman.com) developed research techniques where they could asses a couple's probability of success or failure (divorce) with 90% accuracy (https://cdn.gottman.com/wp-content/uploads/Empirical-Basis-for-Gottman-Method-Therapy-May2013.pdf) and much of what they learned was more was said without words than with words. There also is evidence to support that 95% of what is communicated is through body language and only 5% by what a person is saying.
When you being to listen to your intuition and give credibility for what you experience, you could be on track to gaining insight into your relationship problems. Check with your therapist to see if you are accurately assessing the motivations of another or if you are projecting your own desires on them for your own gains. You might learn you are unconsciously creating conflict in order to get your way.
Day 27: Intuition