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Have you ever felt like giving up? Have you said, "I tried and it (whatever) didn't work?" Have you felt like the struggle isn't worth the effort, or as one commentator often says, "The juice just isn't worth the squeeze." You're not alone.

There is a myth that Benjamin Franklin wanted the turkey to be America's National bird. This rumor started when he compared a turkey to the Bald Eagle in a letter to his daughter expressing his thoughts about the Bald Eagle as the bird of choice, “Bald a Bird of bad moral Character. He does not get his Living honestly…[he] is too lazy to fish for himself.”

One client of mine recently was assessing his own lack of motivation when it came to changing his habits that kept him paralyzed, "If I never try, I never get to feel accomplished. If I never try, I never fail either. There are too many plans and not enough prototypes." It seems he had too many options and sometimes options can keep you ruminating and never taking one step forward toward the goals you wish you were motivated enough to pursue. Sometimes people don't want to change because they may have consequences they cannot plan for. Sometimes, people hold back change because they don't want to lose what they currently have and there is no guarantee they'll find anything better. Sometimes, people over analyze, criticize, or politicize their lack of motivation and blame others for their lack of motivation.

Do you empower or excuse?

One of the saddest things I see is people who stop living by choice. They are still living and breathing, but they don't take their children to the park, teach them to ride bikes, or give them a hug when they cry. The parent is not engaged or even aware that there is a need to be engaged. The children experience the death of their parent who has not died, but who is not living either. These children follow the examples set by their parent(s) and ultimately see no value in living themselves. Generations of people have limited themselves not because of the limitations society placed on them, but by their their limiting belief systems they've come to accept as their truth.

Napoleon Hill, Author of, Think and Grow Rich, reinforces this truth by saying, “Most real failures are due to limitations which men set up in their own minds.” When you accept that you can't, you won't even try. When you believe you can you may try and not succeed the first time. Success comes when you fail but continue to press through your fears and disappointments; when you see each failure as an opportunity to learn. Each effort is its own reward. Even when you fail, you fail forward gaining ground. Trying becomes doing. Repeated effort reaps more success that soon feeds upon itself creating momentum and building confidence that can carry you toward your goals. You can live the life you want or you can live the life you don't want by default. Ultimately, the choice is yours.

Confidence grows when you know the difference between who are you, and who's you are.


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