Recently, I was flying back from the East Coast for the holidays and looking out the window, I saw we were flying above the cloud cover that rained down on everyone below. It was beautiful seeing how there was not one layer, but multiple layers of clouds, and the sun still shined through. This image made me contemplate a deeper understanding of trust.
Have you noticed how difficult it is to trust anyone today? We question the news, the doctors, and the pharmaceutical companies. We don't trust our politicians, school officials, or the neighborhood pharmacy tech. We measure our trust in terms of fear. If I hear information that makes me fear less, does this mean I can trust them more? If I'm in disagreement with another's opinion, does this mean I should trust them less?
I'm advised by wise counselors to look at a person's character. If your favorite news anchor is suddenly fired, or your favorite politician suddenly resigns, if law enforcement officials refuse to do their sworn duty, or if those in high-ranking roles contradict themselves repeatedly, I question if they are being paid for the words they repeat. Do they follow their own advice or "do as I say not as I do?" Are the facts accurate and supported by evidence, or is their "opinion" all they profess? These mixed messages cause confusion and distrust. Uncertainty causes us to not trust anyone and to doubt all information as potentially a lie. We become "self" reliant for what we know to be true, but we can't know all things, so our own wisdom comes into question.
Do you ever question yourself when it comes to ability, motive, and wisdom? I believe we all wrestle with our wants, wishes, and desires, and sometimes can feel selfish when we want to pursue something other's see as reckless or unwise. It's easier to look at the motives and judgments of others than it is to look at our own projections. Sometimes we are verbalizing our judgment of their behaviors, but it's really ourselves whom we condemn.
This morning, during my morning meditations with God, I wrote the following in my prayer journal,
The most difficult person to trust is me.
I question may own motivation because I know I struggle with the flesh.
I question my decisions because everything in my eyes is wise.
I question my ability because I know may failures.
Lord, let me only trust in you.
When you come to the end of your wisdom, confidence, courage, and find yourself lost in the clouds, know that God shines above the clouds to provide you the wisdom you seek, the knowledge you desire, and the love you need.