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Adaptability


I love nature because it's simple, honest, and true. What you see is what you get. There is no hidden agenda, no complaining, it asks nothing of me, and it gives joy to me always. Nature changes and is always fresh and new. It is consistent and I can tell the time of the day by the rising of the sun and know the month by the fullness of the moon. The temperatures give warning of the changing seasons, and each year the seasons repeat.


I wish people could be more like nature and learn to adapt to become more simple, honest, and true.


Sometimes people would rather adapt to the lies they are told, and they tell themselves rather than face the truth. One client shared that she is learning from her mistakes, so she won't repeat them. She said a mentor once told her the truth about her future being created from the decisions she makes. She said she took it to heart when he said, " "I've given you a buffet of knowledge, and if you leave hungry, it's on you."


When lies tell you to pull back and it feels right, the truth is you need to ignore your feelings and push forward. When we are faced with a choice to believe the lies and continue to suffer the consequences other's put on us for their own benefit, change does not happen. So many times in therapy I have to show people that what they are suffering is their own choice to believe the lies instead of challenging the lies with evidence of the truth.


"Sometimes people don't want to hear the truth

because they don't want their illusions destroyed."

Friedrich Nietzsche


Lies that we accept sometimes are rooted in hope that is an illusion. It is a dream, a wish, and it is so clear in our mind that we try to manifest in others the things that will make that dream come true. But they don't. We don't want to let go of the dream because reality seems like a nightmare. We fear the unknown, so we stay in the true nightmare we try to adapt to and pretend. We post on social media photos of a dream, while knowing the truth is we are far from living the dream.


Often, the lies we believe as adults began when we were children. That's why it is easy to believe. When you accept the lies your parents, teachers, and peers tell you, that you are unworthy, that you are a victim, that you cannot change your future, and you believe them, then you will subconsciously look for evidence to support those lies. You will attract people who also believe those same lies, and you will feel supported in that false belief. Once you are surrounded by like-minded people it's hard to see yourself any other way. This is when I show them the truth and evidence to support it. I show them the evidence that what they have believed so long is really a lie. Through a process of constant challenging the lie, it's amazing how quickly change can happen.


When someone tells you that you are the problem and that YOU must change, do it. Start believing you have the power to change, take it. That power will enable you to adapt to a new change that will let the consequences remain with the problem and the person who created it. If they have bad behaviors, don't solve them. If they are abusive, leave. If you want them to change and they won't, you change. And if that means separating to find a place of safety for you and your children, make it happen. You are not a tree; you have legs to walk away from an unhealthy situation. Stop hoping and wishing your partner, friend, parent, sibling, or boss will change so you can be happy. Make a choice to be happy and find ways to make it happen. Stop adapting to their wishes and start adapting to get the dreams you want.








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