The world ahead is either an adventure or a nightmare. Two paradigms are in play and how you look at the future determines you motivation toward independence or toward dependence.
For those who have never been dependent the thought of losing independence is terrifying. They know the struggle it took to gain independence and what they would lose if it was taken away.
For those who prefer to be taken care of, depending on others for their needs seems quite appealing. A world where you get all your needs met with no responsibility attached is a utopia rooted in fantasy because there is no such thing as "free" and everything has a price. What is missing in the equation is the answer to the question, "What do I have to give up to live in a world where everything is provided for me? The answer is easy: Everything.
The thought of taking on more responsibility after a lifetime of trying to avoid it seems counter intuitive. Some people never grow out of the need to depend on someone else. Some people can't wait to leave the nest and rush into adulthood as fast as they can. Some people have limitations that force them to be dependent while others are dropped from the nest prematurely with no help at all.
Luke Skywalker, “I don’t believe it.”
Yoda, “That is why you fail.”
Which is worse the consequences of having or not having responsibility? Personal responsibility provides options which allows us to make decisions that will benefit a future of one's own design. When we have options, we can be unique and pursue our strengths and talents. We can discover what makes us happy and avoid those things that make us unhappy.
But what about the future that is designed for us without our knowledge, input, or consent? What happens when you receive the basics of what you are told you need, but nothing of what you want? The one who takes on the responsibility also has the control, and they get the decision-making power. They make the rules and set all the expectations that will determine how or even if you will be cared for. The parent who says, "My house my rules" can let the adult child stay or throw them to the curb. When you need the benefits and are willing to suffer the consequences to get them, you become enslaved by your dependence.
What things make us dependent? There are unlimited reasons that force us to be dependent on someone else. It can be our age that limits our ability to get a job. We could have grown up in an abusive home where food, clothing, or love was scarce and we'd do anything to get those needs met. Or we could have grown up in a wealthy family that overindulged us and gave us everything training us for a life of dependence. It could be drugs, alcohol, sex, or gaming that stole away our motivation. We can be dependent by choice because we are too lazy to work, or dependence was the result of abuse beaten into us to the point of relinquishing our life over to the abuser.
When you take control of your life, you'll fight to the death to retain control over the things that want to keep you dependent on them. When you give up your dependence willingly you also give up control. It's one thing to have trouble finding your way back to independence; it's another to have that option taken from you.
"When you follow the desires of your sinful nature, the results are very clear:
sexual immorality, impurity, lustful pleasures,"
Galatians 5:19, NLT