I love working with couples who truly want to improve their relationships.They are invested and make choices for the relationship needs that supersede the needs of the individual.
Do they fight? Yes! But they will listen to ways to fight fair.
Do they get angry? Yes! But once they understand the reasons for their anger (hurt, fear, frustration), they can adjust their responses instead of defending them.
Do they feel like leaving sometimes and never coming back? Yes! There is nothing wrong with taking a break, going for a walk, and taking a deep breath before returning to apologize, to clarify, and to forgive.
Relationships are hard. They are meant to be hard. The only way to grow, to improve, and to become better is to be challenged. The Bible says, "Iron sharpens iron" (Proverbs 27:17) and when we realize we have the opportunity to teach as well as learn, then many blessings will result. Lessons need to be learned within the relationship and avoiding conflict does nothing to improve your ability to learn. Avoidance keeps you ignorant and unable to clarify your position. It encourages another to take control. When you refuse to take control of yourself you force the other person to take responsibility for your choices, which feels good to you, but angers the other. No one wants to be in a relationship with an adult child. It takes two mature adults to create a happy relationship. Your partner doesn't want to be responsible for your actions and only wants you to listen, to be understanding, and to show compassion and care for their feelings. When both people have the respect of the other, when they can give and take, and share the control during an argument, peace will prevail, the relationship will thrive, and love will grow.
When you pour into each other so much love it overflows, it's time to get a bigger cup.