What is a "Manolescent"? Apparently, it's a woman's definition of a man who has not grown up and is still acting like an adolescent child. I didn't make up this word, but I have to say in many cases I agree with it. Not all men act this way. There are many men in the world who still open doors, will give up their seats, and who will protect a woman in need. They are the strong, confident, and are growing fewer in numbers.
These men are attacked for their desire to love, honor, and protect women. They are called "chauvinists" by those they try to admire and respect. Society says a woman doesn't need a man to open her door, buy her dinner, or protect her. A woman can do for and protect herself.
She can act independently of any man and not need him at all. This is what society tells women to believe that they have the power to make their own decisions, to work hard to achieve success, and to push away any traditional entrapments that would make her less than a man. She must stop being weak, soft, or sensitive. They must fight for what they believe in. United with other women they can change the world and they have changed relationships. They choose who and when they sleep with a man. They pick the time and the place. They are the ones dominating the situation and the man. Women became demanding, overbearing, and insensitive to gain power and control. The men gave them what they wanted in order to get sex and then they leave.
Strong women come into therapy wondering why no man wants to stay with them. They complain that there are "no good men out there" and that "all the good ones are taken." They say the men are weak, indecisive, and unwilling to lead. Then they praise their own career path that brought them money and fame. They talk about their impeccable home, their accomplishments, and the successes. They talk about being the phoenix that has risen from the ashes and how they want to be seen and appreciated. Tearfully, they confess that even though they have accomplished all this, they can't find a man who wants them. They have become the man they want their man to be.
While women have been on a journey to gaining equality, they have forfeited more than they realize. They had to give up the parts of themselves that were unique, genuine, and female to conform to the hard, unrelenting, and masculine roles they have chosen. They have become like men in order to be seen as equal to them. They have forgotten or never knew what it means to be a "help mate" and a wife. That their power is in their differences and not in their comparisons. They are the yin to the man's yang. Two hammers are not needed to get a job done. A woman already had the power and control long before she was told she didn't. Women of the past who were strong knew how to use their strength to be kind, considerate, and loving. They knew their strength didn't come from a job or a salary, but from their ability to be nurturing, empathetic, and compassionate. They understood that their man needed them to be these things and in return he would do anything for her. He wanted to love, honor, and cherish her because she made him a better man. She lifted his spirits and encouraged him to be better. She made him feel like a king and in response he put her on a pedestal and worshipped her. These were the stories of past turned into romance novels and chick-flicks. Women have forgotten what it is to be a woman while becoming more like a man.
If you want to be with a strong, confident, capable man, you must be the woman he wants to be with. Find your inner strength in your tender parts. When you can be as strong in your weakness as you are in your profession you just might find yourself more powerful and happier than ever.
"A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies."