Do you ever want a re-boot on 2020? This Corona-Virus confusion is driving people crazy-literally! Suicides are up, parents and their children's anxiety levels are through the roof, alcohol and drug use is out of control, and distance learning has proven to be an utter failure. Schools are angry because they are losing funding as parents look for other ways to educate their children. Technology is good, but we all need social interaction in a safe environment. But what do you do when there is (perceived) no safe place? You can't escape the home because there's no place to go. You can't go to work because the governor keeps shutting down business. You can't gather at church because they are shut down too. You can't gather with family members because you may infect them with a disease you might have and not know it.
Really? Is this our only pathway to the future? Are we going to let the fear of death stop us from living? This is ridiculous. When the stats came out that car accidents kill thousands each year did we stop driving? When statistics came out that Aids was killing people by the millions did we stop making love? When we learned smoking causes cancer did we stop smoking? When we learned that alcohol is bad for our health, for our unborn child, and can cause death, did we stop drinking? Why are we stopping everything now?
Life is inherently risky. Death is inevitable. We can't stop death - it will get us all in the end. The real problem is we are giving up living in order to avoid exposing ourselves to death. We must return to a state of fearlessness. We must build shame resistance by refusing to be shamed into illogical compliance. If you have family members who you have not seen for 7 months as you try to "protect them" ask them if they would rather cower in fear or gather in love. The holidays are fast approaching and you will have to make a decision to forgo them out of fear or to gather fearlessly. When looking for the truth (masks don't work vs masks do work, shut downs work vs shut downs don't work, schools should be open vs schools should remain closed) you must consider both sides of the issue. When I help my clients make difficult decisions I tell them that in any argument each side has a 90% perspective that is based on emotions driven by half-truths and manipulations fueled by misinformation. When those two 90% opposing beliefs clash we have conflict. This is what is happening with society and the polarization of politics. One side firmly believes something in opposition to the other side and their reasoning is pure emotion. So the only way to stop the fighting is to look at the 10% that is not driven by emotion. That is where the truth lies. Focus on the truth, eliminate emotions, and realize your personal gain is always the reason behind the fight. When we are willing to compromise, to hear the other person's side of the argument, we can find connection, solutions, and harmony.
If you know someone who struggling to care for their veteran through this crisis, please have them check out the
VA Caregiver Support benefits. And if you'd like to resolve conflict in your family call Encouragers today.