Recently I was speaking with a female veteran who is divorced and raising a child alone. She said she was reentering the dating world and was "terrified" of making another mistake. She expressed her concerns were that she had met someone she likes but creates in her head negative thoughts that keeps her from enjoying the dating relationship because she feels like running from anything that has the possibility of hurting her or her daughter in the future. She was looking for a guarantee to preventing feelings of hurt, abandonment, or deception and at 28 years old was considering being alone to risking harm. I asked her two questions: "If you don't know what you want, how can you ask for what you need?" and "How can you move in a positive direction when you're looking at the negatives of your life?"