In my practice, I help people evolve into a better version of themselves. I avail them access to information that is no longer taught in school or the home. This missing information helps them stand on their own to become strong individuals who can accomplish anything. The differences in how parents have raised their children drastically changed with the most recent age group called the Millennial generation (born between 1981 to 1996). These young adults are struggling with learning the most basic skills necessary to becoming independent adults. I recently read the book, Not Everyone Gets a Trophy, by Bruce Tulgan. He gives his perspective on "How to Manage Millennials; "Millennials are often advanced in their knowledge and skills at a very young age. Yet they often lack maturity when it comes to the old fashioned basics of productivity, quality, and behavior. What's worse, managers often report that Millennials tend to be unaware of gaps in these basic skills and are completely unconcerned about it." Tulgan goes on to explain how this gap in knowledge becomes the employers responsibility to teach their Millennial employees the once commonly shared skills: "arrive on time, dress appropriately, practice good manners, stay focused on tasks,
and work at a focused steady pace."
In the past, these skills would have been learned through playing sports (ever hear of good sportsmanship conduct?), chores, or board games with your family. Parents used to teach good customer service skills by enforcing respect in the home and expecting their children to say, "please" and "thank you." Displaying honor for others was also taught in the home by showing respect to their elder grandparents and neighbors by saying, "Yes, Ma'am" and "No, Sir." These once considered "common courtesies" have become old and obsolete in today's world where children are often considered equals to their parents who allow them to define the rules in their home which they will and will not follow. Parents are so fearful of being mislabeled as "abusive" that the children rule the roost while the parents cower in their rooms, disconnected, and unable or unwilling to change. The "children" grow up with little to no guidance and must rely on resources outside the home to help them "adult." Boundaries have become like old fences that no longer keep out bad behaviors and no longer keep people safe.
Darwin is given credit for explaining evolution and how all living things evolve. The theory says that the weak will be eliminated and only the strong will survive. Are Americans regressing backwards into a submissive state of dependence rather than evolve towards independence and self-reliance? Have we become ruthless in our personal endeavors in order to the rise to a place of prominence where we can receive our identity from others? Are we climbing the preverbal ladder toward success by walking on the heads and backs of our family, friends, children, or employees?
I pray not. But if this blog has struck a cord in you and you see yourself or your children's behaviors indicated here, please call us. We can help you learn how to parent, set boundaries, and have a better future for tomorrow.