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Respect for Daddy

Today is Father's Day, a day of celebration.

But is it being celebrated?

Traditional masculinity has been under attack for decades. It started with television shows in the 1970's that depicted dads as fat, dumb, lazy. They were comical relief for the rest of the family. Archie Bunker went beyond humor to making racist comments, insulting his wife and children. Even the Bill Cosby Show depicted his wife as the powerful leader of the family. Movies also portray men as party-seeking, beer drinking, coke snorting, sex addicts who only have one goal in life: Fun. Fast forward to today's comments about men from women who do not see any value in men, who say a woman can "have it all" and "do it all" and doesn't need a man. Yet, more and more women are falling dead in their tracks (literally) as stress increases and mental and physical health decline. Many women are taking time off work due to exhaustion and overwhelm due to trying to be everything to everyone. In the meantime, the men who have been sidelined and devalued by society are wondering what they are supposed to do. Men are more depressed than ever and suicide rates are on the increase. I recently watched a documentary called M.I.A. Masculinity in America ( that offers more insight on this topic.

Fathers today can change the future by being the man God designed them to be.

Last year, Pastor Tim Thompson of 412 Church, Temecula gave 10 examples how Jesus shows men (and women) how to live:

  1. Jesus was strong and forceful (John 2:15) protecting his father's home liars and thieves.

  2. Jesus was gentle (Matthew 19:13-15) and instructed the disciples to bring the children to him.

  3. Jesus was compassionate (Matthew 9:35-36) teaching, preaching, healing, leading, and protecting.

  4. Jesus was sacrificial (Mark 10:45) as his purpose was to serve others.

  5. Jesus was love (John 15:13) even laying down his life for them.

  6. Jesus was forgiving (Luke 23:34) even hanging on the cross he forgave those who did wrong.

  7. Jesus was committed (Luke 22:42) and displayed that by his actions.

  8. Jesus was prayerful (Luke 6:12-13) and showing others how to pray to God as well.

  9. Jesus was patient (1 Peter 2:23) and displayed self-discipline.

  10. Jesus was meek (Matthew 4:1-11) which is strength under control even when tempted.

Yesterday, I was speaking with a wife and mother who was praising her husband's efforts to provide for her and the family so she could stay home to raise their four young children. She said she is so discouraged and disappointed in other stay-at-home moms who do nothing but belittle, criticize, and minimize their husband's efforts. She asked if there was something wrong with her not wanting to hang out with these mom's. My suggestion to her was that she share about her relationship with her husband. Misery loves company and miserable women love to get together and complain and their number one complaint is their husbands. I wonder if those disgruntled moms took a close look at the single moms working two jobs, going to school, raising their children alone, and living with their parents as a better choice. I'm not talking about abuse, that is never acceptable. But what do women usually complain about? That their husband watches too much TV, doesn't run after the kids like she does, and doesn't help around the house with chores. Are they being abused? No. They are just grumbling, whiny, needy, selfish, and self-centered women who think they deserve more.

If you want your husband to be better, then you must first be a better wife. I always say, "Men are simple. They only want 3 things to be content: Food, Sex, and a Purpose. When a good man marries a woman, she and the family become his purpose. Women, you have the power to change your relationship. Praise your man. Encourage him with tenderness. Value the effort he makes. Be tender and love him as if the first time.

If you'd like to learn how to life different from what society wants for you, check out my book: Live Intentional. Live the life you always wanted, but never believed you could. Available at Barns and Noble, Amazon, and Christian Faith Publishing.


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