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Self(ie) Love


I am a news junkie, book collector, and information addict. If you look at my social media I have 2 accounts and seldom post anything on either one of them. Why have them? I love looking at what other people are talking about, what they are afraid of, and what they believe to be important. I could care less about what your cat did, what you ate today, or how cute you think your husband, boyfriend, or child is when they are farting, burping, or doing other bodily functions.


What I do find fascinating is the HUGE number of people who post all the miserable things they do that results in consequences they disapprove of. Many blame the food they eat that made them fat, the clunker they bought that keeps breaking down, their parents home where they live rent free, their employer who demands they work, and the university they choose to attend that expects them to turn in assignments. As they lay on their bed in full make-up and flipping their hair (both men and women do this), they complain, complain, and complain. But do they ever offer any solution for the challenges (or even perceived challenges) in their life? No they only want other people's validation that they are a victim of circumstances beyond their control.


While flipping through websites for some new piece of information, I found a video Jordan Peterson (photo) recorded while he was a Professor of Psychology at University of Toronto (2018), called FIX YOURSELF (https://www.prageru.com/video/fix-yourself) . He talks about 2 fundamental attitudes people can have about life and it's sorrows: Those who blame the world and those who ask what they can do differently. It was the second lecture I heard this weekend were people were sharing that taking personal responsibility is the key to finding happiness.


When you are faced with a challenge and try to solve the problem do you collapse in a puddle of tears at the failure of the first effort? Do you stop trying and begin the blame game? If you do, then you fall into the fist attitude: blamer. If you make an effort to go over, around, under, and ultimately through the challenge, you possess the second attitude. The first attitude requires very little investment and therefore has very little reward. The second requires faith, courage, time, energy, work, and much is invested. But when you succeed in overcoming your challenge you are rewarded in many ways. You can feel good about yourself, that you learned something new, you might even have learned something new about yourself (insight). You also are learning to be more resilient.


When you have overcome challenge after challenge you get stronger. That's called: RESOLVE. You know finishing something you started will mean you can be proud of what you have accomplished. You don't need others to praise you because you are developing character and true character is who you are not the act you put on for others.


What saddens me most about these people addicted to Selfies is they are taking videos of themselves, on their cell phone, in real time, with a deep need to connect with others, but doing it utterly alone. Misery loves company and they seek other people's misery in order to feel connected. My wish is that people would put down their phones and start challenging themselves. Get off that safe spot on the couch and return to living life. Exit your camera screen and leave technology behind. Look up at the sky. Breath in the fresh air. Feel connection with others in a handshake, a hug, or an emotional embrace. Give of yourself more than your limited image. Expand, elevate, and explore what it means to be genuinely you. Find what is inside instead of focusing on what is outside. Be bold, be courageous, be strong. And most of all, Live Intentionally (the title of my book).


If you would like to learn to live intentional, you can order my book at: Amazon and Barns and Nobel online book stores.

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