Recent Posts
Featured Posts

We Turn


The internet is full of imposters. I just searched my company name and website and there are new imposter websites who are NOT the same as us. They claim similar purpose, a similar name, but please don't be fooled by the liars, cheats, and thieves who hastily put up something to redirect attention, steal donations, and change the focus from what is good to what is evil.


In life, there will always be those who mislabel others and falsely accuse, slander, and misrepresent the truth. Those impostors will act shamelessly and without guilt even while they shame others for actions they didn't do. What is worse is they will elicit others who innocently jump on the bandwagon of hate and destruction not knowing they are being led astray by liars, cheats, and thieves. So, what do we do when we find ourselves going down a pathway of destruction? We turn.


In my therapy sessions I will sit and listen to a couple share how disfunctional their relationship is. I sit silently as each partner takes their turn listing (and the lists are extensive) the hurtful and shameful evidence of each offense they experienced that justifies their right to be angry. When each has exhausted their long list of hurts, I will go to my white board and ask them what the word "repent" means. Some say it means "to ask forgiveness." Others say they have no idea. So I write on the board their list of offenses and how they are acting (behaviors) toward each other. One does something that is offensive (behavior), then they realize what they did was wrong (usually when someone else points it out) and they apologize. Then they ask for forgiveness from the one offended one who freely accepts the apology and forgives. Once the offender receives the forgiveness they are free to do it again, and again, and again repeating the pattern of offense, apology, and forgiveness. This is why relationships continue to struggle as the one offended points out each offense and the offender apologizes, promises to change, but never does. They are all talk and no walk.


The word repent means, "To Turn." They must turn from what they are doing that is causing the offense. If they are getting drunk every weekend, they must stop. If they are speeding with the family in the car, they must stop. If they are abusive, they must stop the behaviors that have become abusive. They must turn from their selfish ways and consider how their actions are affecting others. One of the 12 Steps of recovery is to ask for forgiveness from others. Next you must show them how you are changing. It's not your words that are convincing, but your changed behaviors. An apology is not change, but when you apologize and then back those words up with action, you can truly be forgiven and healing can take place.



Follow Us
Search By Tags
Archive

Want to be an Encourager?

Encouragers Family Counseling , Inc is currently accepting applications. 

Encouragers Counseling & Training Centers, Inc. is a 501(c)(3) Non-Profit Organization.