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What Elephant?


When I was growing up, I had a terrible fear of Heffalumps and Woozles. These imaginary creatures plagued Winnie the Pooh's daydreams and nightmares. I was afraid they were going to come after me and steal from me everything I had and now they are showing up in homes across America in the form of our adult children.


Recently, a client said he was angry at his parents because they had enabled him for years. Now as an adult he is experiencing the consequences, "My parents can't come in and save the day anymore." The reality is my generation and generations before desired to care for their children much to their detriment.


The elephant in the room is that parents are still enabling their children to be coddled, babied, pampered, and spoiled to a point that when it's time for them to be responsible for their lives they have no clue how. This has caused young adults to be fearful of "adulting" responsibilities and we are seeing more and more young adults with "social anxiety." Even though they have reached an age appropriate for being on their own more and more young adults are remaining at home with their parents who continue to provide for their needs. The adult children now fear growing up and so they don't. They don't learn, don&#