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Bad A-- Women!

I love Google search engine...well I guess any search engine, but I typed in "Women in the Military" and this photo showed up on Wikipedia. These 4 Bad A-- fighters are walking across the tarmac to their awaiting F15 jets. I smiled with pride. Wikipedia said, "Four F-15 Eagle pilots from the 3rd Wing walk to their respective jets at Elmendorf Air Force Base, Alaska, on Wednesday, July 5, for the final flight of Maj. Andrea Misener (far left). To her right are Capt. Jammie Jamieson, Maj. Carey Jones and Capt. Samantha Weeks." I love working with military women. They are "a cut above" in all they endeavor to do. Most of them have experienced horrendous trauma, as little girls, as wives, and a

Independent Consequences

So often we are sold a bag of goods that look good when we buy into it, but after we get it home and really take a closer look at what we purchased, it turns out to be a bag full of rotting fruit. Yes, this is a metaphor for how deception works. But what if we are the ones deceiving ourselves? Then who do we blame? Oh yea, us. The question: Can women have it all? Let's take a look at role reversals for a minute. In the 1950's post WWII times, women were forced into the workplace to provide for their families when their husbands went to war. In the 1960's the "Woman's Movement" was an effort to get women out of traditional roles and to stay employed as a way to find self-fulfillment in the

Hide and Seek

I love playing hide and seek with my grandchildren. It was one of the most fun games I would play with my daughter when she was very young. This photo from the Daily Mail was part of an article on the benefits of playing hide and seek . It reminds me of those times when my daughter's fingers would cover her open eyes as she watched me cover my eyes. I'd take a breath and shout, "PEEK A BOO, I SEE YOU!" then she would raise her hands and laugh and we would both laugh hysterically. As adults we play Hide and Seek in other ways. When you have depression that is a result of trauma, grief, or abandonment (not a chemical imbalance) the happiness you seek can be elusive. When you're codependent, i

Born To Serve

When I was a new deputy, I attended far too many funerals of fallen police officers. Both women and men who died in the line of duty fulfilling their sworn commitment to protect and to serve those who could not protect themselves. To some who look at police officers as just doing a "job" they don't get it. Like our military service men and women, we put on the uniform because we are called to it. God pressed into our hearts a desire to put ourselves in harms way, even to the point of dying, so that we could protect the vulnerable and innocent. I loved being a police officer. For 25 years I was proud of who I was. The uniform didn't define who I was but it refined who I was. When I was injure

No Blood

I grew up in the era where personal responsibility was everything. Post WWII parents were raising their children to have a "stiff upper lip," and teaching us that there is no progress made without suffering as they chimed, "No pain, no gain" and I learned from teachers to "fake it 'til you make it." Today, the common philosophical opinion has gone the opposite direction where "other responsibility" rues the day. Every conflict, challenge, or negative report card is someone else's fault. Couples break up because the other person did not make them happy. Children are left to be raised by grandparents or the foster care system because parents didn't think before they had unprotected sex and it'

Recovery Road

I was recently reading an article called, Recovery Road in the Westways Magazine published through AAA (October 2019). Author Rachel Ng explains how quickly emergency response crews will get the roads up and running if we were to have a catastrophic earthquake that damage our roads and freeways. I believe in emergency response preparedness. We should always have a plan of action in place as to what we should do in an emergency. There are policy requirements for building codes that explain necessary sign postings for emergency exits. You get on an airplane and they explain emergency procedures and what to do in a water landing. As an employer, educator, or parent, we now have to explain what

I AM TRAUMA

I am PTSD. I wake in the middle of the night in a cold sweat that makes me shiver. The scream still escaping my lips as the memory of my past lingers in my tortured mind. I live with constant fear of shame and guilt as I try desperately to hide my thoughts and emotions from others. I feel like I have no control as my mind takes on a power of its own and try as hard as I can, I can't change it. I am frustrated at my lack of self-control as I earnestly attempt to control my environment and everyone in it. This causes relationship problems as I try to defend and explain my actions in terms that neither bring healing or clarity to the ones I love the most and hurt the most. I feel like I am push

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