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The Sweet Spot

When I was in my 20's, I played travel tennis on a pairs team. Not exactly pro, in fact way below the pro level, but I could earn cash and gifts for playing. I was "pretty good" if I do say so myself. I had an uncanny ability to hit the ball in the racquet "sweet-spot" and spin the ball so it would bounce on the other side of the net and bounce back to me. This frustrated my opponents as they would run toward the ball only to miss it completely as it returned to me. In our relationships we have a "sweet spot" also, and it feels wonderful to experience. It might be when you meet someone and they "get you." It could be when you watch your children share without your prompting and you feel pri

Emotional Back-Up

When I worked in law enforcement, it was imperative you knew who your back-up was. Not all cops are the same, just like not all people are the same, and some have strengths different from their peers. So knowing each person very well was a benefit and gave one peace of mind if something went wrong. Often, I found myself in a touch-and-go situation without back-up. One such time happened when I was assigned to a team of 8 police officers who were being dropped into an illegal marijuana growing compound via helicopter. I was the only female and carried the only AR-15 on the team. The helicopter ride, and looking out the open cargo door as we approached our landing zone, had my adrenalin flowin

Who Are You, Who, Who?

Classic Rock and Roll band The Who wrote a song called, "Who are you?" and in the lyrics they ask (repeatedly): "Well, who are you? (who are you? who, who, who, who?) I really wanna know (who are you? who, who, who, who?) Tell me, who are you? (who are you? who, who, who, who?) 'Cause I really wanna know (who are you? who, who, who, who?)" In the Disney movie, "The Little Mermaid," Arial (a mermaid) is curios about the world "above the sea," and goes on a quest to find what her heart desires (basically a guy). She gives away all she is in order to become something Eric is (a human) in order to have "true love." Really? Is this the goal of every woman to find that "perfect" guy so she can

What's Your Legacy?

"There is no greater love than to lay down one’s life for one’s friends." John 15:13 (NLT) Yesterday we celebrated Martin Luther King day. I wonder what Reverend King would have thought about having a "day" set aside in remembrance of his life and his death? I was reading some "famous quotes" attributed to the reverend and it's interesting how many of the sayings he's given credit for came from the Bible and Jesus. I doubt he would have wanted to take credit for the teachings of Christ, but rather, I think he would have loved for people to follow the teachings of Christ instead. When I read about and ponder Dr. King's life messages, I am saddened that what he stood for and represented has be

Hold Harmeless

12 Above all, my friends, do not use an oath when you make a promise. Do not swear by heaven or by earth or by anything else. Say only “Yes” when you mean yes, and “No” when you mean no, and then you will not come under God's judgment. James 5:12 Good News Translation (GNT) Have you ever read a contract and saw the "Hold Harmless" addendum? Its intent is to offer additional safeguards against lawsuits if one of the involved parties calls, "Foul" and implications of wrong-doing are made. In the old days, your word was your "bond," meaning once you "gave your word" you were expected to keep it. In the world of business today, everything must be written down in a contract as words are not bindi

Not Great Expectations

One of my good friends and colleagues, Rosanna and I were having a discussion about how people in relationships get into trouble when they have unrealistic expectations. I pondered this concept and thought of so many of my clients who have NO expectations for fear of being disappointed in themselves or others. When we don't know who we are and have no measurement for healthy relationships, by default we accept all things (good and bad) and must react to everyone after the bad things have happened to us. This leaves us in a constant state of victimization as we are unable to identify and protect ourselves from anyone's poor behaviors and evil intentions. Two hypothetical examples are; Sandra

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