A couple went to see a therapist after years of unhappiness. The wife begins dumping her frustration with her husband to the therapist, listing all his flaws, one by one. The male therapist walks over to the woman, takes her hands, pulls her to her feet, and gives her a passionate kiss on the lips. After he releases her, he turns to her husband and says, “This is what your wife needs every day. Do you think you can handle it?” The husband answers, “Well, I can have her here on Monday through Thursday, but Friday’s I fish.”
I remember being a kid and hearing about how my brothers were making it to a “base” with their girlfriends. The older would say, “Did you make it second base?” The younger would reply, “No. But I made it to first base!” Because they also were very proficient baseball players, I thought they were playing ball games with their girlfriends. Little did I know, that’s exactly what they were doing, but not the way I thought.
Women married to men who are consumed by watching sports, are called “Sports Widows,” because while it’s football, baseball, soccer, whatever sport season is “on” the marriage is “off.” These women are amazed how the game of baseball can keep a man interested and focused for over two hours. The game of football can hold their attention for over four hours, and that doesn’t count the commentary and back history of the sport. But when it comes to making love to their wives, they are lucky to stay “in the game” for more than 10 to 15 minutes. They speed through the bases, or even just start and finish at home plate, and then wonder why their women are uninterested in sex. Would they be satisfied if Super Bowl Sunday only showed the final touchdown of the game and no other action? There would be loud cries of “FOUL!” all across America.
Women fall in love with their men because of the way they focus on their needs. When a man is courting a women he cares about, he tries to impress her, to lead her, opens doors for her, holds her hand, buys her dinner, talks with her, and brings her roses and other “tokens” of affection. He KNOWS what she needs because he’s paying attention to her. He’s learning her, he’s memorizing and studying her to find openings where he can move in and provide for her. He WANTS to be there for her and is self-motived because he has a goal in mind: to make her- his. After many “plays” he finally feels she’s fallen in love with him and he “pops the question.” She’s ecstatic because she thinks his focused affection will continue for the rest of their lives together. After the romantic honeymoon is over they settle into a life of complacency and humdrum lovemaking. She quits looking her best because he never takes her anywhere anymore. He stops trying to please her because he’s already crossed home plate and there’s no more challenge; game over.
If couples would realize WHY they fell in love with each other in the first place, they could return to a relationship filled with focused giving and genuine caring for each other. If men would pursue their wives by running the bases again, and women would let them catch them at home plate, the ball GAME could be an exciting time of making love last.