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Courage or Careless

Are you being courageous or careless in your relationships? Sometimes, it's difficult to tell. It's that, "I can't see the forest for the trees" problem because the trees keep getting in the way. In abusive relationships this can mean the difference between seeking safety or staying. Is it wrong to run away in order to avoid further abuse? Jesus and his apostles didn't think so;

36While you have the Light, believe in the Light, so that you may become sons of light.” After Jesus had spoken these things, He went away and was hidden from them." John 12:36

Why did Jesus and his apostles leave? Sometimes it was because the people didn't believe in their mission, and other times they fled danger. Were they being cowardly in leaving or would they have been better off to stay? The apostles worked spreading the gospel and all but John died a martyr's death. The one time Jesus didn't leave ended in his crucifixion, which he constantly referred to as his "appointed time." Jesus knew when he stayed it would be the last time and he stayed for a purpose; to save the world.

Sometimes we stay with our abuser because we are afraid of what our lives would look like if we left. Sometimes we minimize their abuse as a means of tolerating it. Sometimes we stay because we see the children suffering if we leave. Uncertainty and fear can paralyze someone to the point of non-activity. Unfortunately, the longer we remain in an abusive relationship, the harder it is to leave. It's called "Learned Helplessness." In other words, we just give up. Hope is gone, we don't believe there is help, and we surrender to our circumstances with no means to change them. Sadly, the children end up suffering because of our choice to stay as well.

Unless you seek out therapy. There you can find solutions and skills to build up your faith, your hope, and your courage. If you are suffering in an abusive relationship, please reach out to us. We'll give you the lions share of love and encouragement.

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