When we get married, what's the two words that seal the deal: "I DO."
When the preacher asks us if we will meet the other person's expectations to, "Love, Honor, and Cherish," we wholeheartedly agree that we will. Then the fist argument starts day #1 of our honeymoon when we realize that picking up after he leaves his clothes on the floor, or cleaning up the makeup she leaves in the sink was included in our vows. Suddenly we get a reality check and make a snap decision that leads to either a life of bitterness or one filled with humility.
Yep. Two pathways made in one decision. One path that leads to forgiveness and the other that leads to friction, fear, and resentment. Think about it...
When you first noticed your partner was a slob did you make a mental note that was negative, "Really? You can't put the dirty socks IN the hamper?" Sometimes those snap judgments can put us in a position where we look down on the one we love and comparing their behaviors to our standards creates a ton of problems. Especially since we forgive our own flaws much more readily than we do the flaws of others. This is why arguments can get nasty as we throw accusations at the other person and then defend the exact behaviors in ourselves. There is always evidence of our imperfections and in an argument we scream at each other about their imperfections and they scream back about our own. A terrible way to live and eventually the relationship breaks down as each person is constantly wounded by the truth: we are perfectly imperfect.
Change your posture of judgment to one of being kind. Kind words are inviting. They bring harmony in the home. It's also how we "cherish" someone. When your partner puts their dirty clothes in the hamper say, "I love how you help." When she clears the sink of her makeup say, "Everything looks so awesome!" Encourage what you hope to change and there will be more harmony in your home.
"What a joy it is to find just the right word for the right occasion!"
Day 5 of 365: Kind