Have you ever blamed someone else for being where you are in life? As we get older it seems we have more people to blame and can look back at our past with regret and resentment. As we hold onto those feelings they can compound to make us feel weak and helpless. The longer we sit in our pain the harder it is to get out of it. We subconsciously attract the things we hate and it further drives us down into discouragement, self-doubt, and increases our insecurities as we experience failure after failure. Often we can see the world through a defensive posture and make excuses for our own behaviors even while we criticize and blame others. Author Harbor Lee compared how we view others and how we excuse ourselves in this article called, Other Fellow:
When the other fellow takes a long time, he's slow. When I take a long time, I'm thorough.
When the other fellow doesn't do it, he's lazy. When I don't do it, I'm busy.
When the other fellow does something without being told, he's overstepping his bounds. When I do it, that's initiative.
When the other fellow overlooks a rule of etiquette, he's rude. When I skip a few rules, I'm original.
When the other fellow pleases the boss, he's an apple polisher. When I please the boss, its cooperation.
When the other fellow gets ahead, he's getting the breaks.
When I manage to get ahead, that's just the reward for hard work.
We benefit and can improve our future by being honest with ourselves. Looking at our own bias that excuses our behavior keeps us from being the best we can be. Recognizing other's accomplishes does not make less of our own successes. We do not lift ourselves up by putting others down. When we praise others and applaud their success they are more likely to applaud our own success. When everyone focuses on the wins and stops focusing on the negatives we begin to appreciate each other. When you rise above the negative attitudes of today you will shine and stand out from the crowd. We need leaders who lift our spirts and give us hope. Words of encouragement can go a long way and hearing yourself encourage others feels good.
Today you can start to create a new you, a better version of you. We can’t go back and rewrite our history, but we can choose to write a new future.