Today, I'd like to talk to husbands and men who have "that special woman" in your life. I have one question for you...How do you show her you love her?
If you said, "I go to work. I bought her this nice house. I gave her children. I pay the rent or the mortgage and cover the bills," you might not be showing her love in a way that has as much value to her as you place on these things. You see, being responsible for someone financially is not the same thing as love. You might think that it is a loving act, and that may be true, but if you truly love someone shouldn't they be done in addition to being loving? Let me say it this way,
I love my home, so I am paying for it.
I love my job and love getting a paycheck, so I go to work.
I love being called "father," so I had children.
I love being responsible, so I pay my bills.
Do you see how the things you focus on are really showing others the things you love. When your woman complains that she doesn't feel loved you telling her all the things you DO for her is not the same thing as loving her. It may be how you love yourself and justify to yourself that you are a good man (and you would be a good man), but again, that does not show your wife that you love HER.
Consider these questions and answer them honestly,
When was the last time you took your wife on a date without the children, without another couple, and without her asking for it?
When was the last time you offered to watch the kids so she could take a bubble bath, go out with a girlfriend, or get a message?
When was the last time you initiated giving her a kiss, a hug, or telling her, "I love you"?
When was the last time you listened to her without trying to solve her problem, but truly just paid attention to her wants, fears, dreams, or needs?
If you can't remember the last time you did these things, and you truly want her to know you love her, do these things as soon as possible. Not only that, do these things often. There is a saying, "Happy Wife, Happy Life," and this is so true. If you are miserable in your marriage, YOU might be the problem. If you put forward more effort to love her in ways that are meaningful to her you might find out she's the same girl you first became attracted to. Think about it...Do you look at her and think she's put on some weight, complains a lot, and spends too much money? Unless she was like that when you met her you might have created that. Look in the mirror. Have you put on weight, complain, and spend too much money? Well, you might be looking at your reflection when you judge her. Sometimes women will try to find comfort in food, complain when they feel alone, and spend money as a way to feel better about themselves. If you are seeing these things in your partner she might be trying to cope with how she is feeling.
When men become attracted to a women and begin to pursue them there is a lot of effort they put forward to win her over. They will buy flowers, go on dates, listen intently to their stories and will even share stories of their own. A woman falls in love with THAT guy. Then they get married and all those dates expire. The flowers stop, the evenings of sharing intimate thoughts and stories are replaced by sports, work, and children. Rekindle those dating moments that made her fall in love with you in the first place. You might find yourself with a happy wife and a happier life overall.