Benjamin Franklin once said he tried to be humble for 24 hours and found even then he was prideful that he was able to accomplish the task. You can't be prideful and humble at the same time anymore than you can be forgiving and judgemental at the same time.
Do you feel judged by others? In fact, we are judged in every aspect of our lives. We get judged for our performance on the job. We get judged by our coaches, peers, and mentors who confuse constrictive criticism with motivation, and by our religious leaders who judge our faith in God. Our spouse or partner judges our failures against the successes of others. We are judged by our neighbors who see our home in disrepair. Society judges us by the car we drive, the clothes we wear, the food we eat, the size of our bank account, our body type, hair texture, and the color of our skin. We even judge ourselves for not measuring up to our own ideal hopes and dreams. When we are constantly judged and criticized, we can feel helpless and hopeless because we just don't measure up.
There in lies the problem: when you judge against what you perceive to the measurement for success against humanities measuring tape the target is always moving and it is impossible to hit the mark. Even if you succeed in one area of your life, there are so many other areas to judge you'll never be perfect. So you think to yourself, "If I could only accept that I'm not perfect, maybe then I'd be happy?" The trouble is, acceptance does not lead to less criticism, it often leads to more judgement, criticism, and shame. The defining of your acceptance might be interpreted as lazy, mediocre, or quitting. Judgement taken to extreme levels is beyond bulling, it's abuse, and the results can be catastrophic to the child who feels hopeless, even to the point of suicide or homicide. When you consider school shootings, two things are common in nearly every situation: 1-they had mental health issues they were being medicated for, and 2-they were bullied. Like the three monkeys who have their hands covering their eyes, ears, and mouth, and the song that warns we should be careful about:
Be careful little eyes what you see, be careful little ears what you hear, be careful little mouth what you say.
"Who you are speaks so loudly I can't hear what you're saying."
RALPH WALDO EMERSON
If you'd like to learn how to live intentional, check out my book of the same name: Live Intention. Live the life you always wanted, but never believed you could. Available at Barns and Noble, Amazon, and iTunes https://www.christianfaithpublishing.com/books/?book=live-intentional