Childhood negative experiences can create unhealthy coping methods that show up in adult relationships. Couples will come in for therapy and describe how their partner is controlling and won’t let them do anything. The other will say they are never pleased and always nagging. One will say the other is hurtful and won’t talk for days. Another complains their partner yells and screams and then cries. How a couple communicates is paramount to feeling safe and connected and when it isn't working, poor communication can hinder feelings of love.
One of the assessment tools I use to help people understand themselves and their partners is a short on-line questionnaire based on a book written by Milan and Ka