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Manufactured Influence

Relationships can be tricky. People will show you who they think you want to see but overtime, you'll see who they truly are. This is what I call "Manufactured Influence," it's when you think your relationship is structurally sound and then you find out it was all a facade. It's like the picture, you look at only what is presented to you, and it's not until you walk around the side that you see there is no substance, no walls, and it holds nothing inside.

Recently, there have been a lot of blank stares looking back at me when I ask young people what they are looking for in a relationship. They have no idea how beneficial it might be to actually look for a "type" of person and rather just "fall" into relationships as easily as they fall into bed. They resort to sex as the measure for compatibility and break-up when they are no longer compatible. In reality, they were never compatible in the first place. Sleeping with someone you know nothing about is not the way to developing a relationship. Recently, I told a young lady who allowed someone to press upon her their intentions. She stopped him before it went to far, but she felt responsible for his actions. I explained that she was not responsible for his behaviors, only her response to his behaviors and explained she can be motivated by "influence" (lead a horse to water) or set strong boundaries when she recognizes "manipulation" when it is happening. Don't allow anyone to force you into doing something you don't want to do, even if it hurts their feelings. Be strong, be confident, and know that you have a choice. Just say, NO!


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