There are moments of weakness for everyone. No one can escape the insecurities we feel, the guilt we pour over our heads, and the shame and self-judgements for things we've done wrong. We all make mistakes. We all fall down. We all fail when we strive for success. We all have prejudices, preferences, and pride drives much of what we believe. This is why we must strive first for personal growth and understanding so we may change to be better.
When clients come into therapy for the first time there usually is a problem that is causing them pain and is driving them to seek help. Their focus is on the pain and how to relieve it. Often the perception of what is the problem is focused on things outside of themselves; a spouse, a family member, an employer, etc. Overtime, the clients begin to recognize a theme that runs through their life and unhealthy patterns are exposed. When they recognize those patterns in daily living, and apply the tools they've learned in session, they begin to heal and let go of the pain. Does therapy mean no more pain, never, ever? No. We will still experience the same feelings of insecurity, guilt, shame, and self-judgments, but we will no longer need to hold onto the pain.
There is a value to feeling pain that is meant to alert us to danger. We feel pain when we get too close to a fire, when we fall, and when others cause us hurt. These pains warn us to beware the dangers all around us so we can adjust our paths to avoid the things that cause us pain. When we use drugs or alcohol we numb our experience for pain and can walk into fires, fall into holes, and allow others to cause us hurt and harm. We must feel in order to protect ourselves. Unfortunately, to avoid feelings at all cost has become for many their only way to survive. When we remove the ability to feel we can also remove the ability to grow, to change, and to overcome the problems that cause us pain. When we live in denial of the truth, the truth is not in us, and we live lies that continue to hurt us. Only by becoming aware of the pain, rejecting the lies, and living in truth can we truly live a happy life. When we recognize we have the ability to change our circumstances through growth and learning and the application of those truths, we can be blessed and bless others from our abundance of joy.
Al Anon meetings say they are there to "Share experience, strength, and hope." It's not as important what we do as much as who we are. God loves our honesty, our transparency, and our love for others because in this way, we display his love for us.