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Shed Light


People are being forced into compliance with things they do not believe in order to avoid conflict. The strong-willed ones are being bullies and pressing their wishes and desires over the wills of the week. This is manipulation and even has a name: Gas Lighting. In conflict there are two ways to defend your position.


People who do not have a plan of action tend to react to situations that elevate their emotions. Arguments become highly volatile because they react to the other persons words. Because they are not prepared for a response, they escalate the situation by using profanity, yelling names, and becoming physically abusive. They avoid feeling stupid by creating conflict simply because they did not have an answer.


People who are prepared, even if it means saying that you are not prepared to comment, are less likely to be reactive. When I work with clients, I suggest they be prepared with a mantra they can use in most situations. Being able to say, “I’m not sure, but I’ll get back to you on that” or “That’s a good question. Let me think about it and I’ll get back to you.“ These short responses can save someone a lot of heartache when they are caught off guard.