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Winning Battles, Losing Wars


Have you ever won an argument with your significant other only to realize you didn't really "win" anything? In reality you lost more than you thought you had won. So why do we do it?

Why do we fight until the bitter end? Why do we take a stand of defiance? And when we battle, fight, and leave who are we ultimately hurting?


We can be so stupid sometimes when we get our feelings hurt, when we don't know what to do, and our "lizard brain" takes over and we slam doors, throw things, and scream at the top of our lungs in an effort to just STOP the other from talking. Man oh man, we can be morons when our immature emotions overtake our logic thinking. Later when the emotions have calmed down, we regret what we said and realize we have a lot of apologizing to do.


Ricky Ricardo of the I LOVE LUCY show would often say, "Lucy, you've got some 'splaning to do!" This often was his reaction to something silly (and funny) she did. We need to start asking more questions before the discussion turns to an argument. We need to seek understanding for situations when we don't have all the information. Arguments are most often the result of miscommunication, jumping to conclusions, and blaming the other person for how you "feel."


How often do you consider what the other said only to realize they were right? How often do we apologize for going "over the top" emotionally when we were certain we were right? How many times have we wounded another with hurtful words only to later have to eat those words? How often have we lost a relationship due to our inability to control ourselves, shut our mouths, and just listen to the other person? Man...why does it have to be so hard to get your way? Huh? Yep, you're acting selfish and THAT is the problem, not your partner, not your child, not your parents, friends, or boss. YOU are the problem because you are all you can control and you're not doing it.


If you want a happy life make decisions that will be empowering. Empower your spouse, lover, or friend. Empower yourself to be a better person. Empower your family to live together in a home built on a foundation of winning where everyone wins together. Together you will find the end of your battles and wars.



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